4am
These are my first thoughts to you, Mum, in over ten years…the time you’ve been gone. We did used to like a good letter, you more than I back then. Now it seems I have a little more time on my hands and a lot of thoughts in my head that I’ve been wanting to share with you. How many times I’ve looked at my phone to dial your number to just say hello or tell you I’m having a bad day or even a good day.
Given that it’s 4 am, I think you can guess, today was not a good day, but this is just a short note for now because I actually will try to get some sleep. It feels good just to write to you, or just to write full stop; it has been awhile. Even knowing that you won’t see it, somehow, it just feels good. We really do take advantage of the fact that our parents will always be there; waiting for us to cry for help or get a birthday card with ten quid in it. I always did smile when you’d send me those and then tell me to go shopping for whatever I wanted.
Love you mum. Good night for now. The site needs more work, but I just needed to be close to you right now. Will write more tomorrow…I hope.
Leave a Reply